without excuse

do you ever not love who you are?

STOP THAT! right now.

be nice to you. give yourself a break.  don't sabotage your happiness!

the older i get (at the ripe old age of 23!) the more i understand the importance of accepting yourself for who you are. if you are struggling with this, make a list, an actual, physical list of all the things you like about yourself. sit down and really think about it. ask your friends and family to contribute too. i bet the list you come up with is fairly extensive. 

also... i am pretty sure it's a bad idea to compare yourself to other people. don't make excuses for who you are! embrace it. give yourself a hug. each person is unique and has something special to offer.  and if a person comes into your life and can't realize that, dismiss them from your company. it's their loss and they're not worth your time. better people will come along who will be able to appreciate your many wonderful qualities. (pardon the cheese factor!)

if you don't love you, how can you expect anyone else to?

easier said than done? definitely. but your happiness depends on it. so, at the very least, it's worth  giving it a try. i work on this regularly. i know it's shocking news that i don't have everything figured out. but i don't. once in a while i catch myself wondering if i'm pretty enough. or funny enough. or witty enough. when i find myself in that place i consult my people who jump at the opportunity to sing my praises and inflate my ego.

all that is not to say that self-improvement is a bad thing.  i have recently developed a love-hate relationship with jillian michaels. i hate that i have to sit down in the shower to shave my legs. but i love the promise of smaller pants. the only way you're going to truly improve however, is if you are doing it for yourself. don't let anyone else dictate the decisions you make or tell you how to live your life. it is yours after all. besides, no one knows what makes you happy better than you.

if you embark on a self-improvement quest because you want to and you set your own goals the end result is far more satisfying.

like me FINALLY winning a hand of skip-bo. after 14 rounds of losing, i won one. and it was glorious just as i predicted it would be. (ever notice how awkward the phrase 'won one once' is?) and if that is the last one i ever win, that's okay because i did it once! to some one victory may not seem like much but this particular victory marked the accomplishment of my goal. to win. and win i did.

second goal of the night: guess michael's naughty name. which i also accomplished.  it is michael edward.

now i am going to attempt to tackle my control issues. a slightly more difficult task than the former two but attainable nonetheless. i never really knew i had them. at least until my friend's mom so kindly pointed it out. maybe that's why i eat my m&ms in order of the colors i like the least (brown-red-blue-green-orange-yellow). and that's likely where my fear of commitment stems from. and probably why i've never been in love. but i'm opening up to the possibility. and i'm beginning to think that loneliness is worse than rejection. wish me luck.

i have another, less attainable goal... to save the world. starting with the arctic national wildlife refuge. this lovely place is being threatened by evil oil-mongers. it needs to be protected as it is the one of most pristine places in the world. and home to several keystone species such as the polar bear. we need polar bears more than we need oil. if you're with me go to I Heart The Arctic website to sign a petition admonishing Obama to preserve it.

my eco-friendly tip this time - the combustion of fossil fuels is bad for the environment. drive less. turn off the lights when you leave a room. easy peasy. there are three benefits of doing these things: reduce greenhouse gas emissions, save money, and be liked more by me.

to those who care about the arctic: stay neat.

to those who don't: become neat, please.